The Greys

It smells of rust and roads
In their surprise I found my smile
Everything is the same
But nothing is
This place which they called my home
A disassociated kind of love
Its the last time of last times
Re-carving my name in tables
The hellos echo to the byes
Loud and cluttered outsides
Quiet clarity insides
In flat lands of heat
I returned to go back again
From this city of hiding
To my open sea

My body was in revolt
To the intentions
Of my unhinging mind

It felt with increasing
Desolation my
Utter disregard
For oxygen

I was travelling
Like a disappearing
Image in his eyes

He couldn’t see
Me anymore
I was becoming nothing

And he
Was fighting
Being dragged
Against his will

The senses
Were dutifully
dissolving now
Only the
Non-duality remained

I could still hear fear
A thunder’s distance away
He tried..
*please come back*

And then
I took a breath
To realign
Return to life

All I asked
When I could see
Myself in him again was..
*Why?*

He is like twilight
The colours of day’s abandon
Mute in desirous rage
Awaiting nightfall

He gets what he wants
Lives in ruin
loves in lies
And he is made of years lost

He fights seasons
Like an unwritten song
He is his best
when he is gone

Momentarily is a lie
Time is not mine
To measure in lines

Extracting self from another’s
Crooning desperation
Their reverie

My indistinguishable words
With false familiarity of lost thoughts
I cannot eat

I owe a debt to melancholia
in reassuringly superfluous seconds
Someone’s simultaneous solitude

Hauntingly hopeful
this awareness, this need
But so shimmeringly improbable

Lakes are envious revenge
Rugged wood under incense
Wall Patterns are amnestic
Low blood sugar for an insomniac
Grey in green sea incurs a death wish

Falls of water
Falls of feet
Fishes drink wine
Hills smoke the sea
Time is road that broken in between
Living lifetimes in one dream

When you face an inhuman you
Fear is the lover of the blues
Nothing moves like we do
Only teeth on neck bring back the ruse

Hair is tangled in auburn tones
Droplets chasing arms like stones
Choke your reflections
Cry from those bones

I learned that mathematicians can be the best poets
And that substances of within and without both search
That my reactions to dogmatic ideas have little
Separativeness to my cringing from someone of love

That in bubbles of island existence you find yourself
And yet in the isolation is a war lost for peace
Infuriating people maybe the only ones who matter
All I need is someone to hold me when I scream

I also learnt that opposites much like the similar
Make the earthquakes and hills of any change
The peaks are as high as the sea is so low
I know the gnawing impatience of the eternally strange

A heavy weight heartbeat on the strained sides of my forehead
I am about to erupt with everything I’am made of and haven’t dared

Fatigue glues the bending bones in my knotted spine to my neck
When I look for the moon in the morning sky and the sun rests

Colours are fading in comparison as you risk to fall over my edged glaze
My hands need to be held down when they try to cover my face

Terrified of losing the ones who have fought to reign a part of me
Beware I sabotage any , any lover, any chance till you almost leave

Feeling the water
through the floorboards under me
and it is the colour of his immortal eyes

I opened the window
For a trapped butterfly
Bare naked today

Smelling a book
of preternatural significance
And just enough cigarettes

A quietist in freedom
Gazing too close
And too far away